I've been reading Blue Like Jazz for the first time (I know, welcome to 2003 Christian culture). Anyway, he talked a little about tithing and it got me thinking. I grew up being taught that tithing was required and it was even a good idea to give above and beyond. I heard the verses from Malachi and everywhere else, I heard about how it was all really God's anyways and I heard about the blessings I'd get from giving.
Lately I haven't really been tithing, at least not regularly. Part of it is because I haven't been going to an institutional church and I had a hard time convincing myself to still give money to an institution that I was rapidly losing faith in.
I'm still giving, though. I do think that's important, but not really for the reasons I learned. And as I thought about the reasons I used to give, and as I considered what others had to say on the subject, I realized that sometimes we think about God like a vending machine. I know this is far from an original statement, but I finally got it.
We put in our tithes and offerings, push a button, and expect to get it pressed down and running over and all that stuff. We expect to have our material needs met and have the devourer rebuked. At least, as long as we hit that magical 10% mark.
We put in our faith, push the button, and expect answers to our prayers. Not just any answers, but the specific answers we asked for. Put some faith in the slot, press the button, and there you have it.
We put in our good works and obedience, push the button, and expect our rewards. We held up our end of the bargain, now God has to do his bit. Tit for tat and all that.
I really don't like this view of God. I don't want a God who is small and easily manipulated. I don't want a God whose sole purpose is to satisfy my every want and whim. I want real God, big God, sometimes-hard-to-understand God. I want ancient God, infinite God, bigger-than-me-and-all-my-fears God.
A vending machine is great when you want a candy bar. It's not very useful when you need a pair of arms to wrap around you late at night when you're kept awake by worry and anxiety. It's not very helpful when you need a voice whispering love and assurance in the midst of your biggest storms.
I like that God is master of the universe, wondrous and awesome. I like that Jesus is a real Person, not the magic coins you put in the machine to get what you want.
I don't want to try to manipulate God by giving. I want to give out of true generosity of the heart. I want to be generous, because he is generous. And his truly amazing generosity is one of the many things that endears me to him. So I give, and I try to learn to give from the heart, to give joyfully, to give like my Father gives.
