Do you ever find yourself wondering exactly why you believe in God? Or maybe someone's asked you that question out of nowhere and you've found yourself stammering "Um, uh, I just kinda do."
Lately I've been asking myself that question, and it seems that there are many possible answers. Unfortunately, none of them really seem to sum it all up properly.
There's the easy answer - "I was raised that way."
It's true, I was brought up a Christian. I asked Jesus into my heart at 3 and received both a water baptism and the baptism of the Holy Spirit in the next few years. I was active in children's church and youth groups.
But at some point it stopped being my parent's religion. At some point I felt the need to critique what I had been taught and decide if I really wanted to adopt it as my own. As it turns out, I did choose to hang on to it, at least the basic stuff. I still believe in God three in one. I believe in Jesus came as the Son of God, fully man and fully divine. I believe in his virgin birth, his death on the cross, his resurrection after three days and his ascendancy to heaven. I believe the Bible is inspired by God.
Even though I do still believe much of what I was taught, it's no longer blind belief in what my parent's have told me. I have examined its merits for myself, making the decision to adopt it as my own system of faith.
There's the default answer - "Well, everyone's gotta believe something."
This answer fails to capture the deliberate nature of how I decided what to believe. I didn't just flip a coin and say "Heads I believe in God, tails I don't." I didn't throw a dart at a chart of all possible belief systems.
While I'm very aware of the fact that I don't have all the answers, I do think that a belief in God lines up best with what I believe to be true. Based on what experience I have, I am rather convinced that some sort of divine presence exists. And this being known as "God" or "I AM" seems to be the best representation.
There's the ignorant and arrogant answer - "I know what I know what I know is true. You can't tell me different."
Maybe it's just me, but this kind of close-minded answer seems to do more harm than good. It's fine to have faith in something, but when you can't have a reasonable discourse about it there might be a problem. I think the core of this belief is insecurity. You cling to it with all your might, afraid that if you question one little tenet it all may come crumbling down. At that point, I honestly think it's better to let it crumble.
There's the empirical belief - "Well, this theory proves this and that proves that, so therefore there must be a God."
Yeah, yeah, I've done that whole creationism thing. Truth be told, I still do believe in the literal Genesis account. But if God were to show up tomorrow and tell me that it was just a story to kind of sum up all that happened, my belief system wouldn't be wrecked.
I understand people can have a hard time admitting that they "just believe something". It doesn't exactly sound intellectual. But I find that one of the greatest things about believing in God is the mystery and wonder that comes along with it. I don't have anything close to all the answers, or even most of them. There's a lot I just plain don't know. But I'm learning to like it that way.
What's my real answer?
I'm still trying to figure that out. I can't describe exactly why I believe in God, or why I believe He's good and gracious and kind and loving.
I believe in him the same way I believe that love is more than a chemical reaction in the brain. There have been times in my life that it seemed that something deep within me was reacting to something eternal and vast.
I believe that our five senses can only hint at what's really out there, that what we call reality is in many ways just a shadow of what's really there. I believe that the Unknowable is inviting us to know him, that the Unfathomable is reaching out arms to hug us.
I believe that joy and wonder have been placed deep within our hearts for a reason, that we are made to experience and rejoice in beauty. I believe that the longings deep within our souls are real, and that they were made to be satisfied.
I believe.
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